what was i made for

01.06.2024

In the coming days, a year is going to be added to my journey. Man, I have to say, this year has been the most difficult I've ever experienced.

Back in Dubai since today is a Saturday, I would usually be lounging by now, taking each moment slowly and sipping my tea/coffee.

I do hope that the coming days will give me a whole new perspective to keep being hopeful about the life I have. I mean, if you come to think of it, leaving Dubai was bound to happen; it just occurred abruptly without much preparation. I've been taking whatever signs the universe has been giving me.

Most days, I feel hopeless, but some days, I'm hopeful that a new day will come and everything will make sense in my life again.

I can't wait to say to myself, "I get it now, why things happened that way," because I was being prepared for something bigger, which is a more realistic part of my life, away from the Disney-manufactured fairytale of Dubai. But one thing is for sure, I have the memories with me, and I can reminisce whenever I feel down.

Yesterday, I caught myself thinking of the time I surprised a friend of mine for his birthday. It was hilarious because we laughed so hard while he was opening his present. Inside the box was a perfume and a massage calling card. "If you know, you know."

I have to say that I'm still working on acceptance and seeking employment so that I can start my life, think of the future, save up something for myself, and travel again. It doesn't have to be bougie or exclusive; probably somewhere in Asia, as I've always loved the Southeast Asian hospitality.

I just have to keep dreaming and hope that everything will be better in the coming days, weeks, or months. Even if we cry all day, nothing will change. We can miss something, but eventually, we have to learn to let go.

I still have my aspirations and dreams; those are the few things I hold onto. I keep saying that everything will be okay, it shall pass, and I do hope that it will pass ASAP. But it doesn't go that way; there's no such thing as a fast pace in this game called reality, or else we've all been living a lie.

One day, when everything becomes lighter or even better, I will look back and read this post and say that I'm strong and made it to the very end. Here's to the hopeful me.

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