Groomed?, Gaslighted?, Gilbert?- Part I

 23.04.2023

I want to talk about someone that groomed me, gaslighted me, and his name starts with a G. Pretty ironic how they all start with the same letter.

It was during the cool evening February weather of Dubai when someone approached me asking for directions, which I helped like every normal person would do.

We took the metro together as I was also headed in the same direction. After assisting him with the direction, I opened my phone to start killing time as the journey would take me at least 45 minutes. As I was scrolling Instagram, a voice said in my ear, "I'm also on Instagram." To which I responded, "Really? That's cool, let me follow you, though I only have a music page and not a personal one." To which I lied since I didn't want him to have my personal account since I didn't know him that well yet and said, "It's mostly about music posts that you'll see." I said, and I don't really know what life coaches do. I've only heard about it on Lindsay Lohan's documentary produced by Oprah. And yes, that's what Gilbert does, a life coach, and he's here to train some people.

Gilbert is a Lebanese life coach who comes to Dubai quite often as he conducts trainings for some companies back then. He's based in Turkey and has lived there for 3 or 4 years, I think, and prior to that, he was based in Kuwait for 10 years, I think.

I was 26 years old when I met him, and he was 42 years of age, I believe, an age gap I didn't mind since age doesn't matter to me, and most of my friends were older than me. I would be lying if I said that he looks old because he actually doesn't look 42, and we're almost the same height, with him being a little taller.

He knows his ways through words; well, he's a life coach, so I would say he's doing a job.

We reached the metro station, and I started making jokes to break the ice into snow and to make the atmosphere welcoming. I said, "JLT (Jumeirah Lake Towers) is nice; they have nice things to offer, but beware of bears because they walk around at night," to which I ended with, "not the animal kind, but they can be animals as well." To which he said closely to my ear, "Oh yeah? Well, I'm a bear." My mouth was shut for a bit, but I continued talking so it wouldn't be awkward.

"It's okay, you won't see him again anyway," "he's just visiting," "one of those metro station conversations," things I said to myself.

We reached the exit, and I told him that I'm headed to the right side and said the hotel is on the left side. Before we said our goodbyes, I said, "My friends and I are having dinner at this Indonesian restaurant; you're invited if you want to come." To which he declined because he has a lot of work to do for tomorrow, to which I responded, "Okay, take care and beware of the bears."

I would be lying if I said that I didn't like the attention I received. But it was awkward and weird at the same time, and honestly, I just played along.

I can't really remember if it was me or him that slid into the DM's since the chat history is too deep to dig. All I can remember is how spicy the conversation he made with some comments about my bum and how he wants me to sit on his face. Quite forward for a life coach, or are they really like this? I replied cheekily and just played along, but I do remember on how he took offense to my response to giving a message.

He asked me if I can give him a massage since his back was aching from traveling back and forth and training most days. I replied, "Sorry, you got the wrong person; I don't work for a massage company." To which he said, "I'm extremely offended by what you said." "I can't believe that you think of me like that." If you think of it, these should be the sentences that I should be telling him, but instead, it's the response I'm getting.

My people-pleaser self automatically came up with a response, "seems you didn't get the joke," to which he replied, "Ahh, that was a joke," and added a haha.

I forgot to mention that he knew the direction but took it as an excuse to talk to me anyway, and I asked, "what if I don't know the direction?" He said that he would have to come up with another question and said that he had a backup already.

We talked for a bit, and he told me that he would want to continue where we left off with our conversation last night (as if there's anything we missed). So I suggested that we talk over coffee or food, to which he hesitated, mentioning that he's particular with what he eats or drinks. So he suggested that I pay him a visit to his hotel room where he's staying.

I knew that those were all part of an excuse he's making to get into the business right away. I played along and said yes.

The next day, I was already thinking of excuses to not make it or hope that he would cancel the meet-up.

I'm somewhat a detective in my own right, and I don't just give in right away without doing my research. But he seemed to be a very nice looking and soft-spoken man. But I still think that it was very fast, but I guess that's what hooking up is for, I said to myself.

A couple of hours later, I received a DM telling me that his boss is making him stay a little longer to continue the training since he's leaving tomorrow. To which I said, "It's okay," to which he replied, "I would message you if I can make it today." Seems harmless, I would say.

Then after a few more hours, I received another DM, "Hey, I don't think it's possible for us to meet today since I have to get my parents some presents from here to bring home to Lebanon." To which I responded, "Hey, It's okay, I'm gonna be here in Dubai anyway; we can catch up when you're back." To my relief, he canceled.

He kept me updated throughout the day that he's at the airport and got the presents and will contact me once he's back in Dubai, and that's how our back and forths started when he went back to Turkey.

X

Part II....